effects of homophobia

homophobia takes a toll on a lot of peoples lives–not just those people who choose to come out as members of the glbt community.

some high school age children (and adults depending on if they turn 18 before or after they graduate) may fear bringing glbt friends (or those who support glbt rights) home in fear that parents will be offensive to the friend. i know i personally avoided bringing any friends over until by own grad party was set to happen knowing a lot of friends supported glbt rights and one was openly bi. i already knew my own mother may make comments about how all gays were disgusting and going to hell (thanks to the age old “gays are an abomination) and may dad may come out with his same old “all gay people are in a gang” comment. being bisexual myself (and an avid gay rights supporter for many years) and growing up in this enviroment i felt uncomfortable enough being in this environment, none the less introduceing my friends to it.

for those being openly glbt they face even more discrimination about coming out of the closet. i know plenty of friends that are afraid to come out with their sexuality because of how people will react to a sexuality they cant change. with some of said friends i only know their being anything other than straight because i was already open about my own sexuality. some wouldnt even come out of the closet to a room of glbt rights activists (often meeting as gsa’s) in fear that even there they would be discriminated against despite the people being openly supportive of what the community goes through as a whole.

many often wont come out of the closet as glbt at all because of homophobia and hatred. they’ll be stuck in misarable marrages because they dont feel safe marrying (or dont have the right to marry the man/women of their dreams) the person they wish to. those that are trans may not feel safe getting the gender switch they want because of this hatred despite their ability to pay for the surgery. no one in this group is even safe from being murdered because of their sexuality. people like lawrence king, a middle school student murdered by a classmate for being gay and mentioning the other boy was “cute”, appear every year.

living in colorado i even know of trinidad, the sex change capitol of the world. even with this major city to the transsexual community existing in my home state their still major hate for them in this country. i already personnally know one person who is transgender who refuses to tell his family that he isnt his born gender and doesnt want to be called his original name because he already knows that telling them he wishes to chage to male would be a death sentence.

this is something many of us want to get rid of. its already something many hate groups keep us from being able to gain politically everywhere. there always seems to be one out there somewhere to hold us back. many of us wont be able to gain full marrage rights in our home state because these groups and people keep fighting to keep us from getting the equal rights we feel we deserve.

for those of you out there who have been helping our community gain the rights we deserve, thank you. you’ve helped us a lot. some of us you’ve helped emotionally more than you know.

for those of you against gay rights who possibly think about gays the way my parents do i have some questions id like you to honestly think about. what if the world and the law wasnt already in your favor? what if you couldnt marry your opposite sex partner because those who were glbtq didnt support heterosexual marraige? wouldnt you fight for what we are to?

ringling brothers animal abuse

many people following star news use entertainment tonight as a news scource for celebs (and on occasion other news) saw them broadcast a video showing ringling brothers abuseing their elephants. the video had been taken on a ringling brothers site recently and showed how the elephants cruel treatment in something that many americans consider entertainment and many parents would take their children to see. its caused a giant surge in people wanting to help the elephants and other animals that ringling brothers (and hopefully many other circuses involveing animals in their shows) to be removed from their care completely or given proper treatment from the circus itself.

for many of us following peta and peta2 (despite the euthanasia record that no one can deny) this is far from new news. i  had personally seen an older video (also taken on site with the ringling bros circus) showing the same abuse of the elephants and how one worker clearly enjoyed beating the animals in may of 2008 (how old the video was at this point im unsure). personally, i think all americans should be appalled about what a circus (and many other branches of the entertainment industry) can do under their noses. not to mention what other kinds of animal abuse occur right under most peoples noses without anyone knowing about whats going on. thanks to the efforts of organizeations like peta (and the people willing to show around leaflets of whats going on) its fineally coming to light for people who are willing to seek it. hopefully this is something we’re all willing to do as humane people, no matter what our beleifs in other areas of live are.

http://www.peta.org

http://www.peta2.com

poetry readings

poetry readings are a fun time for many poets. their hosted in some schools as well as other venues. their a good way to spend a friday night and a good way to get comments on your own work.

i first started reading my own poetry for a largre crowd when the denver school of science and technology started the poetry cafe once a month every friday mourning three years ago. the entire school was present there (four hundred plus people): teachers, students, and occasionally visitors to the school. i got a lot of excellent comments and more often than not presented my own work. some comments would come from the litureature/writing department of the school but some also came from the students. thanks to email and laptops (both provided by the school year for the duration) helped with some comments for those who are busier.

now, at another high school (thomas jefferson), i plan attending another reading with a friend of mine. though i expect this to be reasonably smallewr than the swaree im used to attending (and reading at) since its being held in a single classroom i still beleive the reading will be as helpful as it has been for me in the past since there will be an interested audience present due to the time it begins. though the time is late there should be a decent turn out.

Servitude

I look through my dark

Cloud at the happy world

That always seems to

go on without me.

 

I force my way through

The required death and

Think of my god and

When he might

Come for me.

 

I wonder how painless

My death will be and if

I’ll know I’m

Dieing before it

Ever comes to be.

 

I wonder if I’ll

Be picked for the

Servitude of life

Or again to the

Servitude of love.

interesting apology

the first thomas jefferson meeting in weeks was set up for today during lunch. few actually came that where on the group list but the rest will at the very least be caught up on the events of the meeting.

we were originally told we were meeting up to discuss what we wanted to plan for the events for the last half of the year but it turned out very different. one of the teachers (who was christian) had been planning on speaking to the group as a whole for awhile. he went through lines in the bible and explained how incorrect christians were in beleiveing that they should judge people for being gay, their beleif in (or lack of beleif in) a certain god. that he understood that most christians misunderstood wording in the bible and often hated gays and that the christian churchs promoted this whole idea and that most people were ignorant to what the lines really meant.

everyone present listened carefully to what he had to say and clapped when he was finished. though he cant speak for all christians (which he admitted) it is generally true that many churches ignore this whole idea and most preachers wont even go over it. during all of the years i served as a christian and all of the times i spent in a christian church no one would touch these lines. all of the people who claimed to teach for god would completely skip these sections or would make it seem like it applied only to those who werent in the glbt community. it gives  me a sickening feeling that those who claim to read “the word of god” would misinterpret it this way and shove it down the throats of an entire church rather than showing what he was truely ment to be with these lines of the bible. we can only hope some of this adversity becomes lighter with the years and more people realize the true meaning of these lines over what some homophobic church leaders choose to believe.

inauguration 2009

this mourning at school it seemed i couldnt get away from barak obama’s inauguration. every television in the classrooms were tuned in to CNN to watch the first black president take office. when the time came around for us to fineally watch him become president everyone stopped to whatch him take the presidential oath and give his speech. no one was able to pay attention to anything else. all work stopped while he was talking, like a god had come down to earth.

i even listened to the preachers that came on before him though i dont beleive in that religion. they said a lot of great things that i honestly hope that obama’s presedency goes very well. he deserves it after comeing this far with his familu to whatch him, not to mention that his grandmother died before learning he won the general election, though im sure she knows he won where ever she went in this afterlife.

i dont know if anyone noticed but during the speech, when they switched the veiw to george walker bush for a moment he seemed a bit peeved at the speach, like he was almost a bit offended by the speech. compared to how horribly he’s made himself look during his eight years in office obama looks like a saint and doesnt deserve too much pity. most people have witnessed a major part of history today (with our first black president going into office, even if he’s black only in part) and depending on the whole iraq thing goes he may go down in history as worse than he already has.

i just hope obama has a good plan on what to do in the war in iraq. if he handles it badly it could drive the country and country relations badly. though many people want us out of the war pulling out too early can have drastic circumstances though it may save the lives of some of our troops. we’ve lost so many already i dont think adding to the death toll much would matter much though so many families have had to bury their sons, daughters, husbands, wives, and dear friends. even here in denver i see many troops passing through our city through the airport and just in general areas in the city. ive also heard of close friends of my own close friends sighning up for the army and prepareing to go out to war. though im a bit surprised to hear of eighteen year olds going to war it doesnt surprise me that they would want to go in the first place. it gives them a lot to look forward to and they have the honor to serve their country. we’ll just have to see how everything goes, both in the war and obama’s presedency.

the one person made for you

ive been thinking a lot already this new year. one of my memories from 2008 was the fall out boy concert in the ogden. one of the things that pete wentz said was that there was a person designed for every person in the world and it was just a matter of finding them. ive been looking for my own perfect person for awhile now without finding them. i dated a few people at my last school (most for short periods of time) and have no luck at my new school despite being half way through the year already. though i’d like to think that i could find them soon (maybe even by the end of 2009, which may be a stretch) it doesnt seem like any of the men ive met this year are any good.

a friend has tried introduceing me to someone who wound up being a stalker and far from dateing material. one guy i met in GSA gropes and head butts me too much to even be considered a candidate and a few others ive met are either taken or not my type. one included being a pot smoker (and grower) who thinks a lot higher of himself than anyone else does, no one seems to even remotely like him (yet somehow he thinks i like him), not to mention he’s managed to get his drivers license suspended for a couple of car accidents and speeding. i try to stay hopeful so far though since people will walk into life unexpectedly, i just hope im destined to meet someone soon and have a lot of luch in the future.

plane crash at dia

we keep hearing tons on the news in colorado about the plane crash at denver international airport without any conclusive answers other than no one was killed. every day they choose to do another announcement about what’s going on without giving us anything new. they consistently repeat injeries and the fact that the plane hasnt been moved from the runway and their still investigateing why the crash happened. its one thing if they update us on whats going on when they have something new but gets old when its always so repetative. i feel bad for the people that were on the plane and feel bad that their families and their friends had to freak out wondering if they were all hurt and/or dead but the story hasnt changed much. everyone knows the state of their family and friends, knows if their hurt or still in the hospital. they know if they’ve gotten back home now or gotten on another plane to go where they really did belong.

i worked near DIA for a year and have heard of several accidents on the road where the car rentals are, one resulting in the death of a man who worked for a company that had hired my own. the other resulted in a minor injery of a woman who was driving her car away from her car rental and to where she was expected. i never heard about either one of these in the news, i heard about them through my uncle who witnessed the womans crash (as well as making sure she was okay and calling her an ambulance) and he heard about the mans death from one of the mans co-workers. DIA has been running for many years and your more likely to die or get badly hurt on the drive to the airport at any time (more likely in the winter with icy road conditions) than you are to die on a plane departing or arriving on DIA runways yet you never hear about any of these accidents on colorado news. you only hear about any mistakes the airport itself is making. i can understand that people want to know that it’s being investigated but honestly it doesnt happen often enough for it to be considered like this. as human beings we do something even more dangerous every day: drive. why such a fuss over our safest mode of transportation?

comeing new year

with the new year coming ive been thinking of the past year. i’ve lent a cross dressing drug dealer (one of my first friends at tj and one of the weakest ones) my phone several times despite her oweing me so much already. ive met a few week friends from the GSA and i probably will never speak to them again after graduation. i’ve befriended a 15 year old who i’ve become closer to than many and will probably know for awhile. ive been bribed repeatedly by kids in my biology class to copy my tests and work since i seem to be one of the few passing in my class period. i go back to my last school where i had so many friends and still have many of them on my myspace account. many of them made changes in my life that i still see today, even without them being there on a daily basis. though i have switched religions within the last year and have seen many other changes i couldnt have seen while with them it’ll be depressing without them being there as much in 2009 as they were in 2008.

along with looking through this past year ive been looking into a good new years resolution. ive already started (and now quit) smokeing, already found and changed to a religion i feel comfortable with, havent taken any bribes for my work despite people wanting me to. ive started stretching my ears up slowly and will probably swapping between a 1o and an 8 gauge regularly throughout the year if not going to even bigger sizes. i cant really think of too many bad habits i could also kick that i havent already kicked in the past year. the only real one ive been able to think of is reading through the entire collection of edgar allen poe’s work since i already own the entire collection and have read some. there is little that i dont already do that i feel i need to do and am fairly sure that there could still be doing.

ive even b een looking more into animal rights and animal rights organiseations like PETA and paticipateing in what i could on top of being a vegetarian already. ive also done my best to sign up for volenteer oppurtunities at animal shelters around denver. for now i can only hope that i get a chance to help animals there.

holidays comeing and going.

i just had yule pass by. i felt a strong connection with the universe (as i do with many of the pagan holidays) and had tons of fun despite not being around anyone with simmilar beleifs as me. now christmas is coming up and i already have all of my shopping done. despite loving christmas for years as a child its lost all of its flare now. i no longer care for worldly possetions and would rather just fix what i do have. i had to make a list for the family but it seems a bit lame that they think this holiday still matters to me even after the switch. with no other pagans around me that i know of it makes celebrateing the holidays i do enjoy a little harder. not to mention the new year is coming. though this still has a little of its fun its also lot a lot of its fun. sure, watching the entertainment as the ball drops in new york is always something i can do but theres little else i can do since i cant legally drink. *sigh* i thought these holidays would never have their fun fade but it already has, 18 years in to life. lets hope theres more that comes into life and i’ll have mu luck connecting with others.