Archive for August, 2009

angels and demons

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 6, 2009 by gothiclg

many people are familiar of the story of the davinchi code. this is a story that i have to admit, has a similar vibe to it.

despite all vibes simmilar to the davinchi code this book is also very different. its a story of love, religion, and distruction. its something that people, no matter their religious choices, can enjoy reading. not only does it have a positive veiw on many abrahamic religions it also, in some ways, shows how despite religion people can get  along.

im not one who spends a lot of time looseing sleep in a book, in fact, this is the first time its happened in several years. this is definately a book good enough to loose sleep over. with every page the story evolves and it keeps you gripped in every twist and turn as they come into veiw. as soon as you think you know whats going to happen it finds a new way to evolve.

no matter your opinions on the movie version, the book is definately worth the read. it’ll keep you gripped until the very end and make you not want to sleep until you get to the end.

effects of homophobia

Posted in life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2009 by gothiclg

homophobia takes a toll on a lot of peoples lives–not just those people who choose to come out as members of the glbt community.

some high school age children (and adults depending on if they turn 18 before or after they graduate) may fear bringing glbt friends (or those who support glbt rights) home in fear that parents will be offensive to the friend. i know i personally avoided bringing any friends over until by own grad party was set to happen knowing a lot of friends supported glbt rights and one was openly bi. i already knew my own mother may make comments about how all gays were disgusting and going to hell (thanks to the age old “gays are an abomination) and may dad may come out with his same old “all gay people are in a gang” comment. being bisexual myself (and an avid gay rights supporter for many years) and growing up in this enviroment i felt uncomfortable enough being in this environment, none the less introduceing my friends to it.

for those being openly glbt they face even more discrimination about coming out of the closet. i know plenty of friends that are afraid to come out with their sexuality because of how people will react to a sexuality they cant change. with some of said friends i only know their being anything other than straight because i was already open about my own sexuality. some wouldnt even come out of the closet to a room of glbt rights activists (often meeting as gsa’s) in fear that even there they would be discriminated against despite the people being openly supportive of what the community goes through as a whole.

many often wont come out of the closet as glbt at all because of homophobia and hatred. they’ll be stuck in misarable marrages because they dont feel safe marrying (or dont have the right to marry the man/women of their dreams) the person they wish to. those that are trans may not feel safe getting the gender switch they want because of this hatred despite their ability to pay for the surgery. no one in this group is even safe from being murdered because of their sexuality. people like lawrence king, a middle school student murdered by a classmate for being gay and mentioning the other boy was “cute”, appear every year.

living in colorado i even know of trinidad, the sex change capitol of the world. even with this major city to the transsexual community existing in my home state their still major hate for them in this country. i already personnally know one person who is transgender who refuses to tell his family that he isnt his born gender and doesnt want to be called his original name because he already knows that telling them he wishes to chage to male would be a death sentence.

this is something many of us want to get rid of. its already something many hate groups keep us from being able to gain politically everywhere. there always seems to be one out there somewhere to hold us back. many of us wont be able to gain full marrage rights in our home state because these groups and people keep fighting to keep us from getting the equal rights we feel we deserve.

for those of you out there who have been helping our community gain the rights we deserve, thank you. you’ve helped us a lot. some of us you’ve helped emotionally more than you know.

for those of you against gay rights who possibly think about gays the way my parents do i have some questions id like you to honestly think about. what if the world and the law wasnt already in your favor? what if you couldnt marry your opposite sex partner because those who were glbtq didnt support heterosexual marraige? wouldnt you fight for what we are to?

gifted or cursed?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 3, 2009 by gothiclg

for a long time ive wondered if being clairvoyant was the gift my parets made it out to be. sure, it was always nice to see my grandfather come back from time to time but i wasnt sure if it was worth seeing everything else. the dead biker hit by the car, the person killed in a grizzly murder, the suicide looking to make amends with famil. those were there more times than i could count.

im seventeen and the only person in my family “gifted” enough to see them. i have no other friends like me and theres no one in their families i can relate to either. the only support i have are the random freaks on the internet who claim to be able to see the dead. from the stories i get, i just take them as writers trying to sound cool to someone they dont know, maybe they even think that if i really am the real thing i wont see through their tales. i dont see me having any chances of finding anyone authentic there.

for now im alone, left wondering how i managed to get this considering no one else in my family claims no spiritual gifts. i always try to help the dead where i can. myspace has become a very usefull tool, even if the person on the other end didnt beleive what i had to say (or at least they pretended they didnt). i knew for sure some found peace in what i’d had to tell them, some even beleived that i wouldnt have known their names if i hadnt been speaking to the dead person directly. i just hope i have a long time to decide if this is a gift or a curse on my own. after all, isnt that the only choice i have?

president bush’s secrecy policy returns in obama’s presidency

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 3, 2009 by gothiclg

“president obama’s choice not to release the detainee torture photos is sadly reminicent of president george w. bush’s policy of secrecy. i beleive this core issue is what concerned so many people, myself included, when it came to the bush white house. those of us who beleive in true democracy, transparency, equality and justice understood no good could come out of an administration as secretive as president bush’s. just as it was with the u.s.s.r., the united states found itself with a small group of people secretly decideing fundamental american policy from engergy to forign affairs. they said they were doing it in secret to protect us, which is exactly what josef stalin and his predissesors told the people of the u.s.s.r.; the end result is a broken and hurting present day russia. the end result of the secretive bush white house was an energy bill written by the oil companys, a war we didnt need to fight, torture, illegal wire taps, the greatest gap between rich and poorin generations and more.”

this quote was from justin sane of anti-flag in the august 2009 alternative press speaking about the secrecy of the bush administration and the begining of secrecy in the obama administration concerning photographs of tourture taken during the bush administration and how secrecy policies like this can severely harm a country when the few rule the many. in november many of us 18 and over voted for president, no matter who we voted for in said election we were all looking for some degree of change. like or love bush’s white house or if we supported his choice the war in iraq we should all want to be able to see what he did during his administration.

now is a time to fight to have some of that secrecy reveiled to this country, to us americans. if you had the option of voteing in this election or not we all have the option to contact the obama administration and let them know that we want to see the photos of torture that are being held back. not just some of them, all of them. we’re americans and deserve to see what america has done, even if it was done by a select few officials. germany didnt get away with what happend during the hallocaust, why should we get away with what happened in a previous administration?

call at: 202-456-1111

write at:

the white house

1600 pennsylvania avenue NW

washington, dc


go online to:

join us in our fight for tansparency.

the end of a vampyre couple

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on August 2, 2009 by gothiclg

It was dark that night, so dark that most people would say you couldnt see your hand in front of your own face. The storms had long since passed away though their clowds still left a lot of cover in the sky. These were the kinds of nights that Anselm enjoyed being outside. He was never even out during the day anymore. There was this rumor that all vampyres would burst into flame if they were in sunlight, though all of their kind knew this wasnt true. They could be out during the day all they wanted without a problem, they just burned a lot easier because of their sensitive skin. Tanning booths didn’t help them fight off this burn either like some doctors said it would, in fact Anselm had even managed to burn useing a tanning bed. Though tonight this wasnt one of his concerns for the moon was up high and hidden behind the clowds and the sun had long sense gone down.
Tonight his concern was the graveyard. He wasnt security here, he wasnt even an employee. Nor did he have any family that was buried here in this graveyard. He had moved away from his hometown long ago when his entire family had burned to death in a house fire. This was a place where he never planned to return. There was nothing left for him there. This graveyard, in this strange town where he knew no one, was what he really cherished. The night security didn’t care if you were there or not as long as you left without vandelizeing anything. Since he never had vandelized anything on the grounds (the one person who had ever vandelized anything was caught months before he had started coming here on a regular basis) the security never seemed to notice that he was even there. It was like he was a ghost, which is something he perferred. The only person who ever recognized he was there was another vampyre like himself.
Though she wasn’t at the graveyard every night like he was she was here often enough. Like himself she dined on animals blood to hide her true nature from the normals around them and to avoid looking for a willing human doner or stealing it from a blood bank. Not to mention an animals blood was safer than a humans. Few deseases passed from an animal to a a human through the blood, unlike with human blood contact. Anselm already knew if he had taken any of his willing human doners he would have HIV and be on the verge of contracting AIDS by now. Though he didnt know her story surrounding her choice of animals blood he didnt wonder too hard. He figured it would be much like his own and figured it would be best to leave it alone rather than going into it.
On many of the nights they spent here together they spoke of things like art, politics, even sex. If it was a major taboo that scared most onlookers (no matter the country of origin) they seemed to realish it. They enjoyed many of the same things and looked in simmilar places for entertainment. They had both also visited a local jail a few times to witness the execution of a person they had never seen before that night. So many condsider this something only for the victems and their families both of them seemed to think of it as a more public affair. This was a country that did kill people who killed people to show people killing people is wrong so they both figured watching this odd double negative was something they might as well enjoy when it came up. You never knew when one would ever come again and it was something most people in this beautiful free country of ours would never see. So many more were concerned about the newest plastic surgery they wanted or what celebrety had died and how. Heath Ledger was still a major headline and both of them seemed to agree his last movie had gotten a lot of public attention soley because he had died so recently and there would never be another his fans could rush out to see. Then there were others who had grown up watching the famous series of movies and never knew the man existed before his death hit the news stands. They were definately some of them.
Tonight, though, was not a night reserved for one of their long discussions about art or anything else. Tonight was the night they reserved their own spots in the ground of this graveyard. Both of them had set up small funerals already and had paid lawyers to buy them a plot side by side with simple grave stones bearing nothing but their names. The only thing the two of them had ever owned was a large inheritance from a rich family. Both of them paid rent month to month on a small apartment aswell. Tonight was a night that all of this would be gone as well though. It would go to a chairity for skin cancer. They both had agreed they would commit suicide at their favorite grave in the entire area, the grave of Stacy Armstrong. Though the last name has been made famous, this woman never was. Neither of them even knew what drew them here, they just knew that something did. It was the only spot that ever would.
Lost in his train of thought she had arrived without Anselm noticeing her. By the time he had turned his head and realized she was there she had already set up her part: a small tray with two wine glasses filled with pigs blood. He pulled out his part from the pocket of his dress pants: cyonide. It was split up into two different packets, each having enough to kill three people. Though they could have easily split one packet and still have it kill them he wanted to take no chances with any of this. They considered each other lovers and had no plans on the other staying behind because somehow they had been given the incorrect dosage. They mixed the cyonide into the blood and, before anyone had the chance to fix what they had done to themselves, they died peacefully.

the cell in the insane asylun

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on August 2, 2009 by gothiclg

My name is Matteo Delzer. I’d spent the last few years of my life in this insane asylum called Wild Oaks. It wasn’t like there was a lot if oak trees at this place or anything. It’s like an old folks home being called something like Shady Acres. I was sent here because some voices in my head completely convinced me that if I sat there and pet my sister like a cat her head would fall off and re-grow, like she was an alien or something. I know that doesn’t sound like something any sane person would believe but I honest to God did. After a few weeks of me petting her to try to get her head to fall off (sometimes pretty hard) she had me put on pills. These pills were supposed to make the voices go away some and make me more like normal people. This didn’t exactly work, in fact the voices got stronger and I really didn’t know what to do with them then. If you thought I was crazy for listening to them then your going to think I’m even crazier with this next story.
My sister gave me one hundred dollars to go to the store and do some grocery shopping for the two of us and told me to make sure I didn’t go over because it was all the grocery money we had right now. She even gave me a list of some things that we absolutely needed for a party that she had planned that was coming up and some coupons so we could save some money on the stuff we bought a lot. I got down to the last item on the list before I started to read the list wrong thanks to the schizophrenia they say I have now. Instead of seeing “dark chocolate cake mix” I managed to see “human fingers”. Naturally, I wandered around the store awhile looking for human fingers. I didn’t have the slightest clue where to look since my sister usually did the grocery shopping (not to mention their not something sold in this country) and I never learned the setup for our neighborhood store.
After looking pretty lost for awhile one of the sales people there asked me if they could help me with something. When I mentioned that I was looking for human fingers the woman gave be a strange look. When I pointed to the bottom of the list and showed her what my sister had written (which wasn’t what was coming out of my mouth) she gave me an even stranger look and helped me find what I should have been looking for all along. The woman, having known my sister for awhile and having seen a picture of me on at least one occasion, called my sister and let her know what had happened. This, of course, came as a surprise and scared my sister. She had never had me hallucinate before and she had the chance to watch my father struggle with the same disease years before me and watched him hallucinate on a regular basis. After this incident I was sent here to be treated.
I always hated it here. Bad food, public showers, making us get in line for some generic looking pills that you couldn’t tell one from another. I knew that not all of us suffered from the same thing. Billy for sure has multiple personalities but somehow his pills look exactly the same as mine. I brought this up with a doctor and they just looked at me funny. When I refused to give up I got locked up in this padded room. I really hate it here. Mind helping a guy out?

who is your god?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on August 2, 2009 by gothiclg

So many different Gods
Packaged and veiwed in
So many different ways it
Can get hard to remember
Who belongs to who.

So many different religions
That argue that their God
Is the best and the only,
That only those that want
To deny his existance for
Fun wouldn’t beleive in the
Same one as them.

Even within the same religion
The one they choose to call
God can be shown differntly
And the very dynamics of what
Is called a prayer to him
Can change with the seasons.

No one thinks that someone
Else’s beleifs could be correct.
Their own personall ones need
To be the only ones out there,
Everyone else needs to be wrong.

Who has ever thought to
Break the idea of a God or
Even many gods down to the
Basic DNA?

Who ever would have thought
That God could change from
Person to person and that
Every person could possibly
Be completely wrong?

So many people try to convert,
So many go to other countries
To preach their truth instead of
Leaving everyone to their own
Truth, no matter its age or the
State of taboo to other parts
Of the world.

Alone here in America hundreds
Of Gods are represented, even
If it’s just one kid beleiveing they
Were personally touched by the
Noodley appendage of the Great
Spagetti monster in their closet.

Why must we fight over who is
Right when we could all be wrong?